2nd place in Derby #183: The Stars, with 876 votes!

Her name was Omi Cron, a beautiful girl hitch-hiking her way to Vega to pursue her dream of becoming a dancer. But after a few nights working in a dingy backwater constellation she met Cristal, a star with real connections in a prime constellation. Who was also kind of into her, but angry about it sort of.

Eventually Omi landed a role in the show as Cristal’s understudy, but even the success and its upward pull on her station in life weren’t enough. She took matters into her own hands and dropped Cristal from the sky, sending her plummeting to some redneck planet below.

Unfortunately her ambition got the better of Omi Cron and soon she was forced to flee the star system. But not before wreaking revenge on those who wronged her. And getting naked a lot, for some reason.

Wear this shirt: To your midnight matinee of the greatest worst movie ever made.

Don’t wear this shirt: During your steamy erotic dance number with your bitter rival. It’ll get in the way of you storming out.

This shirt tells the world: “There’s always some celestial body younger and more reactively-stable than you spinning through the galaxy after you.”

We call this color: Maybe I should just join the Navy

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