Everybody Knows The Future Cheated On The Placement Test
There’s nowhere to go but up!
If you didn’t know, today is Earth Day. We hope you’re the sort of person who can make an effort to change their lives a little bit so that maybe, just maybe, we can one day enjoy this planet without smoggy skies and mounds of trash. Here are some helpful tips to make the world a better place.
1) Remember, if you must improperly dispose of your trash, throw it on Bono’s lawn. It will keep him busy and then he’ll stop making albums and that will benefit everyone long term.
2) When you buy this shirt, pick up an extra and give it to a homeless person. It may not help them find employment and shelter, but it will make our nation appear more ironic. That’s the sort of thing art school kids and bloggers thrive on. Remember, NuMedia is the future of our country!
3) Try not to be “the guy who complains that we should have sold this shirt before Earth Day”. We all know that if we’d planned ahead you’d be here anyway, acting like “the guy who complains that we didn’t do anything special on Earth Day”. Needless complaining kills baby chipmunks. That’s right, we named our cat “Needless complaining”.
4) Instead of throwing away the plastic bag that your shirt will arrive in, use it to make a waterproof canteen! Untreated rainwater is a great way to force your body’s immune system to improve as quickly as it can.
We hope these tips will help you to improve society over the next year. Happy Earth Day!
Wear this shirt: if the area below your bellybutton is sensitive to light.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re on the other side and the grass actually IS greener. Instead, invest in some lawn care products.
This shirt tells the world: “Remember that time you got that song stuck in my head all day and I said I’d get you back?”
We call this color: Nothin’ But Baby Blue Skies Do I See
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