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by lokklyn

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 21 - Dec 22
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 19
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

He Only Had Two Days Until Retirement

Louie was a good carp. One of the finest I’ve ever known.

3rd place in Derby #81: Heartbreak, with 741 votes!

They say fish like me grow to the size of their environment. But Louie, Louie was always the right size for anywhere. Me and Louie went to school together. We were partners. The day that fungus swept through the tank, he looked after me. The day the glass broke and all the water ran out, I looked after him. I said “if you weren’t around, Louie, I’d never make it outta my door in the morning!” And then we’d laugh. But now he ain’t around.

Louie took care of his family, though. He left them that little treasure chest that opens and closes, and that plastic pirate skeleton to keep his family safe at night. He was saving up to buy a ceramic castle for his “golden years”. I guess that won’t ever happen now.

I remember just last week me and Louie were joking around with a packet of wasabi. Maybe that was bad luck or something, I dunno. All I know is, whoever did this was an expert. Someone with access to avocado and rice. And there aren’t a lot of people out there like that. Whoever you are, you better watch out. Because this planet is mostly water. And if you so much as step into a bathtub, you’re mine.

Wear this shirt: when you’ve decided to commit seppuku. It’d be kinda neat to see if you can get all the shapes before you die.

Don’t wear this shirt: when you’re in a knife fight. it won’t help you to have an easy diagram of the best places to cut right there on your chest.

This shirt tells the world: “No tears. He died a warrior’s death. K’plah.”

We call this color: Mrs. Brown You’ve Got A Lovely Otter. Did you know otters eat raw fish? If you didn’t, we’ve saved you from having to post “why is that funny?” on our forums.

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 5.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 92% second woot
  • 8% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 36% one year old
  • 48% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 92% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Loss by lokklyn
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.