4th place B-WAAAH??? in Derby #202: Anthropomorphic Food!

There’s no going back. You want to find destiny? You can’t hedge your bets. You can’t meet destiny halfway. You’ve got to jump out, punch the future in the face, and yell I’VE GOT NOTHING LEFT, TOMORROW, I’VE GIVEN IT ALL and hope that maybe the future isn’t going to turn around and lay an awesome flying kick in the center of your face.

But it’s a chance you take. Because all our destinies are written on a little slip of paper deep inside us, a piece of paper we’ll never actually see. Someone else will find it, someone else will read that message, someone else will know who we really were when all that protective armor was finally out of the way.

And all we can do is hope that we haven’t been carrying around “If you’re still hungry, have another fortune cookie.”

Wear this shirt: c’mon. Do we really have to say it? In bed.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re on RuPaul’s Drag Race. We’d love the attention, sure, but “Miss Fortune” as a drag name? It’s been done, girl. A long time ago.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s sort of like a golem, except tasty.”

We call this color: I Had The Fried Royal Bluefish, She Had The Spicy Scallop Rice, He Had The General Tsao’s Chicken, And We’ll Split The Spring Rolls Three Ways, If That’s Cool

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