2nd Place in Derby #420: Psychedelia with 160 votes!

Omniscience sucks.

Sure, at first it’s kinda cool. I get a candid look at all the jerkwads of the world. In that way, it completely levels the playing field. Humans are all just big sacks of meat marinated in common character flaws. So, you know, maybe you can take comfort in that.

The thing is, omniscience loses its luster after a while. I can always hear it when people are in the bathroom, and that’s pretty gross. And, frankly, most of the things you do are incredibly dull. Very rarely are you mortals engaged in anything remotely interesting. You must work on that.

But the worst thing about omniscience is always being right. About everything. Weather. Mathematics. And, worst of all, people. I'm always right about people. I hate that. I don’t want to correctly predict the senseless brutality that pervades your kind. I don’t want to be certain that you’ll destroy your planet. I don’t want to know for sure that every one of you will continue to land - from birth - somewhere on a universal spectrum between cruelty and indifference, and that THAT is gonna be the thing which delivers you all to your doom.

But I know it’s true.

Er....

I mean.....

Hoot.

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