1st place in Derby #203: Red, with 784 votes!

Good morning, ma’am. I’m Sergeant Falkor, and this is Lieutenant Lockheed. May we come in? It’s about your son, Lawrence, and it’s probably best that we do this inside.

Mrs. Valoo, do you happen to know where your son is right now, or have you been in contact with him in the last twenty-four hours? I see. “At a friend’s house.” We thought as much. Ma’am, perhaps you might take a seat. This might be hard for you to hear.

At approximately 2100 hours last night, our radar spotted picked up two unknown aircraft in the vicinity of Elliot Air Force Base. After not responding to numerous attempts to contact the crafts, two F-18 Super Hornets were sent to investigate and, if need be, eliminate the targets should they became hostile. Just before our aircraft were within visual range, the second target moved into a position of what we believe to be protection of the first, and engaged our fighters in hostilities. Both aircraft were destroyed in the battle, however, our men were able to eject in time and provide us with a full report and photographic evidence of the incident.

We’d like you to have a look at this photo, ma’am. Do you recognize the young man in the balloon? Yes, Mrs. Valoo. We believe that to be your Lawrence. I hate to tell you this, but your son’s magical summer adventure has just become a matter of national security.

Wear this shirt: at night as you enjoy a delightful evening.

Don’t wear this shirt: in morning, especially if you’re expected to sail a boat.

This shirt tells the world: “Summer days sure do seem to DRAG-on.”

We call this color: Off We Go Into The Wild Cranberry Yonder

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