3rd place in Derby #226: Math in Nature, with 793 votes!

Okay, everybody, White Elephant Gift Exchange time! Gather ‘round! Now, we’ve all drawn numbers and pooled our gifts, so number one goes first. BUT! There’s a twist! The next person can pick a gift from the pile OR “steal” yours!

“These are terrible ideas.”

Oh hush, Erwin. You’re always such a downer.

“It fosters hurt feelings. Hurt feelings and thievery.”

Who’s got number one?

“I do.”

Oh. Erwin. Of course. Okay, pick a gift!

“I have chosen this.”

Open it!

“It appears to be an Apple iPad 2.”

Wha- Wow, someone went all out and ignored the $25 limit! Well, you’re gonna have a tough time hanging on to that! Who’s number two? Okay, okay, stop snickering.

“I am. I want Schrödinger’s iPad.”

Okay, Erwin you’ve got to hand over-

“Are you certain it’s an iPad, Cory?”

“What?”

Just give it to him, Erwin.

“How can you be so sure it’s an iPad? It’s a simple question.”

“Uh, ‘cause the box says ‘iPad’ on it. And when you opened it you said it was an iPad.”

“Ah, but what if an earlier, random event has caused whatever is inside here to change its quantum state? It could just as likely be smashed electronic junk.”

“It could?”

“Yes. Imagine for a moment that there is a flask of poison, a radioactive source, and a Geiger counter in this box-”

“OH GOD ERWIN FINALLY SNAPPED AND BROUGHT A BOMB!”

“What? No, I’m merely illustrating-”

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

“Dude, just keep your f*&%$ing iPad, psycho.”

Erwin, you are RUINING this holiday party!

Wear this shirt: While simultaneously NOT wearing it! Eh? Although to be fair, we only want to see you in the state of wearing it.

Don’t wear this shirt: While simultaneously wearing it! Eh? Although to be fair, we only want to see you in the state of NOT wearing it.

This shirt tells the world: “Let’s go back to my place and get all Verschränkung.”

We call this color: The black observes itself.

Back to top