3rd place in Derby #183: The Stars, with 843 votes!

“Ya, und here is the pie, you know.”

“Oh. Yes. I did order. A.”

“Yah, und now I-”

“Pizza Pie.”

“Yah, und now I need to get de paycheck if you get what I am meaning, yah.”

“Oh, but my wallet. I- Oh. My outer layer. It. Uff. It just.”

“If it’s stuck you just pull de top und you can-”

“Oh, right. I mean, No! My outer. layer? I dropped it.”

“Yah, und I am suddenly aware of your Jeans instability. I cannot stop ze gravitational collapse of myself onto you.”

“Oh, please. Yes. I feel as though my hydrogen. Is turning to helium. And I am entering my main sequence now.”

“Yah, und I am in hydrostatic equilibrium but cannot contain myself much longer because of how I am looking at you. Darling.”

“Oh. Oh. Oh.”

“Yah. Yah. Yah.”

“Oh. Oh. Oh. Wait, you’re dropping the- dude, don’t get the pizza on me, okay?”

“Oh, zorry, can zomebody- like, cam-ah-ra guy, can you maybe- okay, I’ll just put it over here for now.”

“Yeah, just put it- okay. No, they can cut this later, right? You can cut- oh, you can’t? Okay. Okay. Just… I mean, let me- Oh. Oh. Oh, yes. Oh, I’m consuming my resources so much faster than expected now.”

“Yah und I can feel myself expanding to what is expected to be my maximum radius. Mmm, yah.”

“Yes. Baby. I want you to fuse around a hot core of carbon. And oxygen also.”

“Yah, talk like that more. Tell me my pressure is sufficient to fuse carbon and burn neon.”

“Oh. Oh. That is. It. Oh, I’m producing iron now.”

“Yah, I am also producing iron.”

“Oh, yes. Oh. Oh, yes. Oh. Oh. Say, that was. Fantastic. Tell me, what? Is your name.”

“Yah, I am sorry, Fräulein, but I have passed into inverse beta decay and I have to go. Don’t call me, I do not want the commitment, yah.”

“Okay. I prefer it. That way. Anyway. Because I am so dirty. Dirty, I mean. Bye then.”

“Yah, bye. Enjoy your pizza.”

“… so Charlie, do I get my fifty dollars now or what?”

Wear this shirt: while this is playing.

Don’t wear this shirt: to an L.A. bus station. It’s like asking for trouble.

This shirt tells the world: “I understand I may need to show my identification on request.”

We call this color: Brown Dwarf Academy Number 16 (1997)

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