“He’s across the 20! The 15! The 10! Nobody’s gonna stop him, and it’s like he’s not even running! Touchdown, Springfield!”

“That’s his third today, and we’re still in the first quarter. Unbelievable.”

“This kid is really changing the face of the game. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a lot more bigfoots coming into the league now.”

“Yeah, definitely. When you can take five yards in a single step, you better believe you’re gonna get some offers.”

“What’s great is the inspiration he’s been to all those young bigfoots out there. He’s proven once and for all that a non-human can play in this league. Not to mention all the money the team saves on pads.”

“It’s been a great story. I just hope the steroid tests come back negative.”

This shirt was designed by: Tom Burns, an illustrator, designer, and photographer from Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Wear this shirt: if you happen to be watching any sporting events this evening or this weekend, especially those involving wealthy, litigious sports leagues who protect their intellectual property with the intensity of a juiced-up linebacker.

Don’t wear this shirt: in the bleachers at Youngstown. Those Yetis fans can be brutal.

This shirt tells the world: “Hut, hut, hiGGRRRRRRWWWRRRRR”

We call this color: Three Yards And A Cloud Of Brown.

Back to top