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The Spoilers Of Winter

by Tobe Fonseca

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 23 - Dec 25
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 20
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Something’s Coming

Somewhere, beneath the ground, it slumbers.

In the warmth, with just enough moistness, it begins. The slow splitting of the shell. The persistent shoving out and up. The dirt parts just a little bit, and then a little bit more. A root, a stem, a branch.

A thousand years from now, this might be the largest tree in the world. Or it might be the bookcase of a famous lawyer. Or it might be the floor of the nightclub onto which the latest young starlet collapses in drunken hysteria. Or maybe it will be the cane an old man uses to chase away a mugger. Or a toothpick. A really good toothpick right before an important date. A toothpick that gets out a big piece of spinach that would have been a dealbreaker and as such is responsible for the event that leads to the birth of the guy that builds the first faster than light spaceship. Yeah, that kind of toothpick.

There’s so much potential in that little seed. So many options. Will it survive the winter? Will it get eaten by a squirrel? Will it grow to be some kind of Tree Stalin, tearing up the pavement with its roots and smashing waterpipes and power lines until it is finally brought down by the chainsaw that ends its reign of terror once and for all? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. All we know is, something’s coming.

Wear this shirt: when you’re trying to convince DC Comics to reboot Swamp Thing. Too bad he missed out on the big space zombie story, that would have been a cool thing for him.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re being eaten by a giant. Did you know it could take like six years for a seed to pass through a giant’s digestive system? That’s so awful! If you’re wearing this shirt, and about to be eaten by a giant, take it off first. After all, there’s never any reason to be rude.

This shirt tells the world: “Seed E? That was planted by Kid A, wasn’t it? Let me look in the records…”

We call this color: Asphalt Might Not Be As Pretty But It Sure Keeps Those Allergies Away

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Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
7m 31.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 98% second woot
  • 2% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 40% one year old
  • 48% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 98% bought 1
  • 1% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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The Spoilers Of Winter by Tobe Fonseca
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.