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This Was a Triumph

by tjost

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Sep 25 - Sep 27
  • Express - Estimated delivery Sep 24
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

And What Thou Art May Never Be Destroyed

1st place in Derby #224: In the Kitchen, with 1094 votes!

No one was prepared to see it, Chell,
That ending came so fast,
And nobody could have guessed

A catchy pop song waited
With a sweet robotic female singing
Pop songs after she had breathed her last

This franchise that just burst out of the dark
With inside jokes tied to a song

Now nerds all have this cake thing in their brain

And it’s wrecking what should now be
An unmatched design legacy
Of a game that changed its genre for all time
And soooo-

We’d like to ask that you give it a rest
And maybe we can save
Those ideas that we still need

Take that GLaDOS fanfic in your hand
And then throw it in the fire
And then leave

Of course the Portal games are very smart
But that isn’t what we’re saying now

You nerds must get this cake thing off your brains

For it’s ruining what could be
A bit of human history
Like when that guy used Sonic for a gene
I meannnnn-

We’re not telling you to not have fun
Go on, replay it
We’re just saying quit it with the song
You’ve overplayed it

And we know that you will whine and scorn
And say we’re persecutors, okay, do it, swell.
But listen, and we’ll share a little fact
Listen and we’ll share a little fact
Cake songs just don’t age so well

We only want to help you fans so you don’t lose it
We only try to steer you somewhat clear so you don’t ruin it
Because a tipping point is close to nigh
As all pop culture one day always dies

And if you’ve made the meme have its own life
Oh, if you’ve made the meme have its own life
Just like that little cube
You’ll end up fried

Please use the one minute fifty of instrumental to reflect on your regrets in relations the Companion Cube and how you don’t wish to see references to your favorite game be lost in the incinerator of time due to actions and inactions resulting from your personal decisions.

This franchise that just burst out of the dark
More than inside jokes tied to a song

But nerds all have this cake thing in their brain

And it’s wrecking what now could be
An triumphant design victory
Just please stop saying “The cake is a lie!”
But nooooooo!
We knowwwww!
You wonnnnnnnn’t!

Wear this shirt: because you missed a chance to buy this one. It’s perfectly understandable though. It was only on sale for 97 straight weeks. Anyone could have missed it.

Don’t wear this shirt: in the black forest. Especially not during hunting season! You should always wear proper orange vests so no one mistakes you for an animal.

This shirt tells the world: “Why does nobody ever make jokes about the other option? You know, the grief counseling? See? You want to talk about a lie? That’s the REAL lie in this game! And everybody just ignores it completely to talk about the cake! That’s exactly what they WANT you to do! Sheep! All of you, sheep!”

We call this color: And Somewhere Else Gordon Freeman’Slate For Work

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 52.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 91% second woot
  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 13% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 21% one year old
  • 62% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 8% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (142 comments)
join the discussion (142 comments)

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This Was a Triumph by tjost
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.