2nd place in Derby #64: Pets, with 627 votes!

Fireflies, lightning bugs, torch beetles, zap-fleas: whatever you call them, nobody can resist their cheery golden twinkles. Except maybe for the blind. And this little boy is evidently not blind. He’s so filled with wonder at these luminous marvels that he simply must have them for himself, possess them, tether them to him so they can never, ever fly away and take their beauty away from him. That’s, um, really magical, or something. Maybe “unsettling” is the word we’re looking for here.

This shirt was designed by: Derby entrant AnnaJo, who forgot the first rule of lightning-bug ownership: never, ever name them. They’ll just break your heart that much more.

Wear this shirt: instead of capturing real lightning bugs, tearing off their ends, and making morbid “jewelry” out of the glowing, dismembered chunks. Oh, come on, don’t pretend you never did that.

Don’t wear this shirt: if it turns out that fireflies are just as smart and emotional as humans. That’d be like wearing a t-shirt celebrating the Dred Scott decision.

This shirt tells the world: “When they were handing out ‘pests’, I thought they said ‘pets’.”

We call this color: Does The Alliance Even Have A Navy?

Back to top