Life in the wild is HARD.
2nd place in Derby #203: Red, with 769 votes!
Ned, look out-
“What?! Is it a lion?! Oh no, it’s a lion isn’t it?! Run! RUN! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! LET’S GO!”
Relax, it’s not a lion. You’re just-
“AAAAUUUUGGGH! HYENAS! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S STRIPED AND GOOD IN THE WORLD, PLEASE DON’T LET ME GET EATEN BY HYENAS! ANYTHING BUT HYENAS!”
Ned, there are no hyenas around. I’m only saying-
“I KNEW it! Crocodiles! I never should’ve gone to that watering hole! That evil-looking thing must’ve followed me! Where is it?! Gah! Don’t DRINK anything! They’re almost impossible to see!”
Ned, we’re in the grassland. There aren’t any crocodiles for miles.
“Well then what the hell IS it?! Angry elephant? Hippo? Wild dogs? Jaguar? Particularly large bird of prey?”
You’re just getting a little pink, is all.
From the sun. I think you’re getting a sunburn.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! MELANOMA! I CAN FEEL IT ALREADY! OH SWEET ZEBRA H. STRIPES, I’D RATHER THE HYENAS GET ME!”
Wear this shirt: To the beach. After a few hours your skin will blend right in.
Don’t wear this shirt: Through the winter. It doesn’t make much sense.
This shirt tells the world: “Black and white and red all over, get it? GET IT? Ah, I’m so lonely.”
We call this color: Red Striped
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