3rd place in Derby #222: Gadgets to Enhance Everyday Life, with 498 votes!

As you can see by the very large numbers and squiggly lines projected on the screen behind me, Ni Industries has become a leader in completely nonsensical landscaping technologies, and we’re just getting started.

And now I want to tell you about something I’m very excited to tell you about, a revolution in the way we think about hindering the quests of knights the world over. With the Shrubber Locator 4000, we brought you a new and unique way of gaining shrubbery. With our Noise-Cancelling Helmets, we provided customers new and old alike a way of avoiding the “secret word,” as long as the person isn’t too shouty. Today, I’d like to show you what I think will be the next great leap in this industry.

I give you the Herring Saw.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the game has changed. Ni.

Wear this shirt: as you plan a path between your two finest shrubberies.

Don’t wear this shirt: while saying the secret word. No, I can’t tell you what it is.

This shirt tell the world: “I like movies, sure, but there’s one in particular I’m really very fond of.”

We call this color: Brown Shall Be The Color Of Thy Shirt, And The Color Of The Shirt Shall Be Brown

Back to top