1st place in Derby #82: Individualism, with 1444 votes!

They’ve Rabbit Off More Than They Can Chew.

The first one was an accident. We were fleeing from Mr. Greg’s shovel only Floppy wasn’t fast enough. I went back to give her one last goodbye kiss. One last, delicious goodbye kiss. Before long, there was nothing left but her paws. And I knew… the hunger.

The next day I met Mippsy and Hopper and told them about a special place where there was lettuce as big as their heads. I strangled Hopper with my own paws. Sweet little Mippsy was so horrified she couldn’t move. When I was done with her, I began to sew my new face.

Soon everyone in the hutch was whispering. I began to leave little clues scattered around. I couldn’t help myself. The bones arranged in a pattern. Secret messages scratched onto peppers and onions. It was like a big game. A game I was always winning. I stayed one step ahead.

When they caught me I was dancing in front of the mirror dressed in a pair of gloves made out of my old friends. I suppose, in a way, I was glad it was over. I didn’t even know who I was any more. All that was left was… the hunger.

Wear this shirt: when you’d like to show off your chest hares.

Don’t wear this shirt: around anti-fur protesters. Or pro-carrot protesters. Or people who hate cartoon shrubbery.

This shirt tells the world: “I’ve got a bunny feeling about that guy.”

We call this color: Easter Grass

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