3rd Place in Derby #408: Grammar, with 121 votes!
“Anyway, I saw his post on FaceTube and it was full of spelling and grammar errors, so I figured it was better to break off the engagement.”
“That was the right call, Rachel.”
HLD RITE THER.
“What the heck is happening? Who are you guys?”
GRMMR POLICE. SNT FROM FUTUR. ON MISSION 2 RITE UR GRMMR WRNGS.
"Our grammar wrongs? You’re the ones who sound like broken robots.”
ITS HOW COMMUNIC8 N FUTUR. EASIER. FASTR. SUPRFLOUS LTTRS & WRDS & CHRCTRS GONE. UR N VIOLATN. ARRST NOW.
“But I got an A in AP English, and Rachel's a semi-professional blogger. How can we be wrong?”
QSTN MRK ELIMN8D N 2123. ELLPSES = 300 YRS PRISN. APSTRPHE = SIGN OF PRMTIV NBREEDNG. WE R JDGING U SO MCH RITE NOW. UR EDCATION = LOL.
“I don’t - er, do not - understand how the stuff you are saying can possibly be correct.”
B/C LNGUAGE NOT STATIC U KNCKLHDS. USGE IS DECIDR. U VIOL8 GRMMR HUBRIS LAW OF 2104.
“Wait, so you’re saying the rules can change? And that … I don’t know … maybe adherence to arbitrary protocol is just stubborn and futile?”
“Wow. Wait a minute. If that’s true, then your grammar laws are subject to the same scrutiny, right?”
“So you’re not really any more right than Rachel and I are ostensibly wrong.”
“So you guys can’t arrest us. In fact, you’re violating your own rule about grammatical hubris by - “
CRAP. THEY FIGRD IT OUT. RUN. BCK 2 THE TME MCHINE! HRRY!