So ugly, they'll draw attention away from that haircut! ...look, I'm sorry, we just say it as it is.
Look at it this way, no one will notice your ill-advised bangs once Nana brings out her lime-jello salad and everyone gags. True Story: My Nana would servie lime Jell-O with shaved carrots and celery suspended it it like some vegetable future-prison. No one ate it, obvi.