1st place in Derby #142: Classic Literature Mashup, with 1019 votes!

Hey, I really appreciate you dropping off that cabinet you got from the yard sale, but I’m wondering if you have any way to contact the previous owner? Well, I was storing some books in it and I woke up this morning and there’s some kind of epic war happening in my living room.

I’ve got Ahab fighting off a Cheshire Cat, a tortoise looking to race a hare, some guy who keeps calling me an Argonaut and asking for help dispatching Robin Hood, and two people who are either Emma Woodhouse and Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Knightly. Yes, I know those pairings are off, but they obviously don’t know each other so I’m assuming the books cross-contaminated somehow.

Anyway, there’s been a lot of collateral damage and someone owes me a couple buckets of DuPont “Extreme Eggshell” latex paint.

Also some Febreze. There was a little shirtless dead guy wearing buckskins in there.

Wear this shirt: To the library. Reading is an adventure!

Don’t wear this shirt: When meeting LeVar Burton. He’s had such a diverse career after the rainbow!

This shirt tells the world: “You have no idea how much fun I can have by myself.”

We call this color: Book Browning

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